Young People Talk About the Pressure to Have it All
You see so many people on TV or in magazines wearing "cool" clothing or advertising things and you feel like you'll never totally fit in or have any friends if you don't have the latest styles or trends. It's amazing how we (kids and teens) value their reputations so much that we would give up the really important things like our grades and friends.
Emma, 14
PA
Hi, well I am a teen age girl trying to find my idenity, figure out what friends are, and have alittle fun. Society has described a 'look" that teen age girls are suppose to wear, and if you don't you can't be accepted. I've bought many things to just fit in and I have bought many stupid things to be cool such as: jeans that do not fit, shirts that should be called bathing suits, and make up that Inever use. I guess I figure it is just part of life, although I am realizing how ridiculous it is, now.
Kathryn, 15
DC
I've since found myself a little more and have discovered the ideas of voluntary simplicity and other things... but in 6th grade all my friends basically dumped me because other people gave them grief about the uncool state of me and my clothes. People would
go out of their way to say stuff like, "SO, where'd you get your SHIRT Amanda?" I decided I needed new clothes and my mom went shopping with me. Except I had a very narrow and unsure idea of what was "cool," and totally didn't trust myself to know. So it took a very long time to find anything I could decide was okay.
Once I got to high school, it became apparent that people were interested in getting to know ME (and whatever wardrobe I wore) than whether or not I bought clothes at The Gap. "Cool" in high school included having your own style and being true to yourself.
Obviously some groups were into different ideas of what looked cool, and there were definitely "social expectations" as to what was OK to wear and what was not... I felt free to experiment somewhat. Now that I'm not in school so much I can wear what feels good
and not what necessarily looks good, which is always fun.
Another example: I'm going to the prom this coming Saturday. I had not planned to go, but was asked by someone last week (a pleasant surprise). I bought a $150 dress over the weekend, and $20 shoes today from TJMaxx. It's expensive, though I opted to not buy any new jewelry or a scarf. I did/do feel that I needed to buy a dress & STUFF in order to fit in and feel good at the prom.
I buy candy bars sometimes to feel good. And new clothes because I want to have more choices and try different looks, and have something new to wear.
Amanda, 17
VT
